Stress

I never did much like the summer. Maybe that's cause my limited imagination prevents me from do anyhting awesome. Both my sisters went back to their respective cities today, Boston and New York. So that sux but today I had family guy to cheer me up so I'm alright. "That comment was sexual also." Ohh man that was one happy hour. My parents left middayish so I stole a bottle of wine from them, got drunkish and went for a wicked long bike ride. I came back, sober, and read like 400 pages of the new harry potter. Quite entertaining. I got to the part where a main character dies, then I decided to make a journal to talk about it. So here I am.

You will never know me
“smiling and happy”
what am I?
What are they, for that matter
I wish I knew–
they smile, always laughing
voices filled with laughter
does anyone laugh deep inside?

I wonder who will read this?
Will they know my name?
My race? My middle initial?
Will they care for my views?
Will they know my face?
I have no way of knowing.
But I know that no one will know me
For I am unkowable, more so now than ever,
now that i do not know myself.

It's never been important has it?
What I never did...
Things I never saw...
People I never loved...
In the end...
No matter how hard we try...
It never really happened...
Did it?

Mach nicht zu viel meiner Traurigkeit
Es macht nicht kein verschieden.

And if anyone wants to hang out or whatever, lemme know and I'm there.